Friendships
For most of us women, friendship is an important part of our lives. For some it may be as important as finding a soulmate. And sometimes that soulmate may be the “bestie” as my now 14-year-old granddaughter says is the right way to refer to a best friend. I made the mistake of calling her “bestie” her “BFF” – silly me!
This topic lives deep within my soul. It isn’t an easy topic for me to share.
Like many of us women, I have experienced heartbreak in friendship. One cut deep and impacted my future self. I was wounded and I was not sure I would ever take that chance again.
I grew up with lots of friends around me. I loved every minute with my girlfriends. I think my mom sometimes got tired of the shenanigans with my girlfriends, especially when I would beg to have one spend the night. I’m pretty sure it was the nonstop laughter that literally lasted all night long and kept her awake that inspired her to say no, but ultimately, she usually gave in.
I had two girlfriends that I stayed very close to all through my growing up years. We maintained our friendships as we went in different directions for college, marriage, and children. All seemed great, until it didn’t.
Without going into details that don’t really matter at this point, things and other friendships began to tear apart one of these two “bestie” friendships. I found myself shocked and not sure what to do. I felt panic over it, and I didn’t like how that felt. I made multiple attempts to keep things close between us, all the while watching the friendship disintegrate.
Long story short, I had to give up trying. It was taking all of my energy and focus. I had many blessings in my life that I was ignoring. So I gave up.
The pain of the loss of that friendship has never left me. It stays packed away inside me for the most part. After all these years, when it resurfaces, I am okay. I can talk about it easily and I move on. I believe the part that impacted me the most back then was the fear of it happening again, perhaps with my other “bestie” friendship or other friendships in my future. While my second girlfriend friendship faded over the years, it was more of an organic, or natural progression. We check in with each other now and then still. Time simply moved on.
The kind of painful ending of a friendship I endured has (thankfully) not repeated itself. I am intensely grateful for the many friendships I have had through the years. (You are all very special to me!)
At this point in my life, I do have that friend I can text and say anything to, and she won’t judge me. I can ask her to pray for me and I know she will. I do the same for her. We may not talk every day. We may not see each other for weeks even though we can and should, but she is there, and I am here.
After all, isn’t that what friendship is truly about?